Obituaries

Rhonda Thomas
B: 1962-08-18
D: 2022-12-30
View Details
Thomas, Rhonda
Marlene Thomas
B: 1952-06-09
D: 2021-06-14
View Details
Thomas, Marlene
Cassielee Cross
B: 1959-12-26
D: 2021-06-04
View Details
Cross, Cassielee
Helen Berglind
B: 1936-01-19
D: 2021-05-24
View Details
Berglind, Helen
Khristy Babb
B: 1976-03-06
D: 2021-05-22
View Details
Babb, Khristy
Betty Welch
B: 1939-07-02
D: 2021-05-20
View Details
Welch, Betty
Mindy Moffatt
B: 1951-08-08
D: 2021-05-19
View Details
Moffatt, Mindy
Gary Hill
B: 1940-07-15
D: 2021-05-15
View Details
Hill, Gary
Suzann Brown
D: 2021-05-12
View Details
Brown, Suzann
Raymond Gieger Jr
D: 2021-05-03
View Details
Gieger Jr, Raymond
Parish Green
D: 2021-05-01
View Details
Green, Parish
Tony Pelham
B: 1941-01-01
D: 2021-05-01
View Details
Pelham, Tony
Christina Nicks
D: 2021-04-28
View Details
Nicks, Christina
Trayce Hopper
D: 2021-04-22
View Details
Hopper, Trayce
Hugo Calderon
B: 1960-01-11
D: 2021-04-15
View Details
Calderon, Hugo
Caleb Lahoda
B: 1999-04-21
D: 2021-04-02
View Details
Lahoda, Caleb
Edward Sturman
B: 1956-06-25
D: 2021-03-30
View Details
Sturman, Edward
Norma Anderson
D: 2021-03-29
View Details
Anderson, Norma
Richard Wyer
D: 2021-03-27
View Details
Wyer, Richard
Daniel Gamino
D: 2021-03-27
View Details
Gamino, Daniel
Candace Vandever
B: 1956-07-31
D: 2021-03-19
View Details
Vandever, Candace

Search

Use the form above to find your loved one. You can search using the name of your loved one, or any family name for current or past services entrusted to our firm.

Click here to view all obituaries
Search Obituaries
1900 N. Chester Ave.
Bakersfield, CA 93308
Phone: 661-392-9010
Fax:

Immediate Need

If you have immediate need of our services, we're available for you 24 hours a day.

Obituaries & Tributes

It is not always possible to pay respects in person, so we hope that this small token will help.

Pre-Arrangement

A gift to your family, sparing them hard decisions at an emotional time.

Order Flowers

Offer a gift of comfort and beauty to a family suffering from loss.

Funeral Etiquette

Also known as social graces, the rules of etiquette ease us through challenging social situations. Most of us know how to behave in common circumstances but unless you've been to a lot of funerals, you may not know the rules of proper behavior in this often uncomfortable social situation.

The Basics of Funeral Etiquette

Emily Post once said, "Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others." Much of what we know today about etiquette comes from this woman, who published her first book of etiquette in 1922. When you use those words as your guide, the rules of funeral etiquette become easier to understand.

What to Wear

Tradition has always required a certain level of formality in dressing for a funeral. However, today's end-of-life services are so varied – ranging from the traditional funeral to the often more relaxed celebration-of-life – that it's challenging to know exactly what's expected of you.

The advisors on the Emily Post website tell readers that "attire isn't limited to just black or dark gray. Remember, though, that it is a serious occasion and your attire should reflect that, especially if you are participating in the service. At the very least it should be clean, neat, and pressed as for any other important occasion."

What to Say

No one expects you to say more than a few words and bereaved family members are often unable to give you their full attention anyway. So, keep it short and make it sincere.

"I'm so very sorry for your loss" may work very well. If you have time to add to those seven words, you might want to share a personal story about a time you shared with the deceased. But, watch closely for signs that your audience needs to move on to receive condolences from other funeral guests.

When speaking to other funeral guests, speak quietly. This is not a time to discuss business or share stories about your recent vacation. Instead, focus on sharing and listening to stories of times spent with the deceased.

What to Do

If you're unsure about what actions to take when being led by a pastor or celebrant, simply follow along. If you're not comfortable, don't draw attention to your unwillingness to participate. Be discrete and respectful of others.

Always leave your cell phone in the car or at the very least, turn it to vibrate mode or turn it off.

How to Handle the Visitation

A visitation, or viewing, is a time prior to the funeral where guests are invited to view the casketed body of the deceased. While it is customary to show your respects to the deceased by stepping up to the casket, you may not feel comfortable doing so. That's perfectly alright; no one wants you to be unnerved by the experience, so focus your attention instead on providing comfort to the bereaved family.

After the Funeral

If the deceased is to be buried following the service, the funeral officiant will announce the location of the interment. If the cemetery is not located on the grounds of the funeral home, there will be a processional of cars formed to escort the hearse to the cemetery. Unless they have chosen to have a private burial, those in attendance are welcome to join in the procession however, don't feel obligated to do so. You may simply leave the funeral at that time.

The Funeral Reception

Many families today hold a post-funeral gathering where food and refreshments are served. While this is a time to share memories, laughter, and even tears, your behavior at a funeral reception needs to remain respectful. 

Follow-up with Kindness

If you've not already done so, this is a good time to send the family a sympathy note or card. About a week after the funeral, pick up the phone to check in with them to see if there's anything they need.

"Good manners," wrote Emily Post, "reflect something from inside – an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self." We think that just about sums it up; no matter the situation – wedding, baptism, dinner party or cocktails with friends – her observations about good manners (when followed) will serve us all well.

Sources:
www.emilypost.com

 

365 Days of Healing

Grieving doesn't always end with the funeral: subscribe to our free daily grief support email program, designed to help you a little bit every day, by filling out the form below.

52 Weeks of Support

It's hard to know what to say when someone experiences loss. Our free weekly newsletter provides insights, quotes and messages on how to help during the first year.